Reborn
by Salvatore-Black
Summary: The choices we make determine what path we take in life but sometimes our path is chosen for us. Sometimes you have to be reborn to find your way back to your natural path. Working progress
1. 1: New Beginning

**Author Note: An idea that has been running through my head for quite a while.**

**Chapter: New Beginning**

It took so long for me to recognize what I was feeling. Why I couldn't look at Edward and the others without feeling angry. I felt guilty at first; it hit me like a sucker punch to the chest just two years after I became a vampire. It suffocated me, I felt so human when it hit because it reminded me of what I had once been and what I had given up.

The anger came next, the uncontrollable anger that had me leaving for days at a time with no explanation because I couldn't explain it. How could you explain wanting to hurt the very family that took you in as a seventeen year old girl? How could you explain wanting to hurt your own husband so intensely?

After the anger, there was regret. It had surfaced so easily that I felt sometimes like I was being choked, that feeling the way I did was Karma's way of reminding me of the price I paid for my so-called happiness.

I wasn't happy. The last time I was truly happy was during my human life - the life I gave up all rights to. It didn't stop me from wanting it, needing some connection with who I had been. I watched over those important to me - watched as my school friends grew and went to college and started to settle down. I watched as my Dad wallowed and lost himself in his grief for me.

I could practically taste his emotions and how he was feeling from the deep distance between us. He was a mess; his emotions just made me regret my decision for this life. I had never taken into account the feelings of those who I would leave behind: Jake, my Dad, Billy and my friends. I'd been selfish, only thinking of myself and the impact it would have on me.

I never once thought about the impact my '**death'** would have on my Dad. I hadn't really thought my presence would be missed by him because he'd never really been around during my life. I couldn't have been more wrong. Everything I was told about being a Newborn vampire didn't apply to me.

I had control, I had my emotions and I was as much human in my emotions as I ever was. I sobbed tearlessly when I watched my Dad enter my old room one night and break down in tears. I listened with a heavy heart as he sobbed about the injustice of the world because I was his little girl and he'd never had enough time with me. I listened as he blamed himself, when he felt that he should have fought harder for me in the divorce instead letting me go with Renee because he believed it was for the best.

That was the final straw for me. I put my face in my hands and cried until I heard movements. I * looked up at the right time to see most of the La Push pack watching me, some human and some in wolf form, '"Bella?"' Seth Clearwater's voice whispered, as I stared at the pack. ''You're one of them,'' Paul Lahote snapped, as I stood up and slowly moved away.

''Why are you here?'' Sam Uley snapped harshly,his eyes scanning over me briefly before his face softened slightly.

''I don't know. I just want it to stop.'' That simple sentence made the reality of what I really wanted clear. I had tried telling myself that I wanted this life - that I didn't want to end my existence. The sorry truth was; I did. I wanted to be dead and for it to be over with.

''What do you want to stop?'' Sam asked, the slight pause at the end of his sentence making my mind up for me. He had almost called me Bella but had stopped himself because I'd lost the right to be called that. I wasn't the Bella they had known and they refused to call me the name of someone I no longer was.

''Will you… kill me?" I asked, wanting my miserable excuse of an existence to just end. ''The Cullen's won't know and they won't bother to check here,'' I added quickly, the prospect of dying as I should have looking better by the minute.

My request had shocked them all into silence before Sam questioned,''Why?''

''I thought I knew what I was getting into, I thought of myself as so insignificant that surely me becoming a vampire couldn't make anyone miss me or grieve for me. I underestimated my father's love for me like so many other things. I believed that because I only really came to know him in my late teens that he wouldn't miss me and... I was wrong.'' I explained, the tears stinging the backs of my eyes.

Silence followed once I'd stopped talking. "Please? You may think that I am taking the coward's way out of the destruction that I have caused and in a way, I am. I left the Cullen's with no note or explanation because if I had, they would stop me from doing what I want. I want my final death and whether it be because you give it to me or I find a way to end myself, I will do so.''

I watched as they talked amongst themselves using eye contact and motions before Sam turned away from the others.

''It pains me to say this but we'll give you what you want. Maybe, just maybe, you'll be reborn and you'll learn from this life. I don't believe a lot of blame lies with you about the way things have ended, you could have fought harder against the Cullen's but what's done is done. I can't promise that your end won't be painful through.''

I nodded at Sam as I added, ''I can take the pain when it gives me what I want. Maybe I will be reborn and remember this life. Who knows? Thank you for everything,'' Those were my last words spoken by me in my vampiric existence before the wolves did just as I asked and ended me.


	2. 2: Quil Has A Point

**Author Note: As upsetting or hard-hitting as this chapter might seem, I loved writing it simply because I could explore this from different angles without writing one particular POV.**

**I hope you enjoy the chapter and I'm off to finish writing the third chapter. **

**Reborn: Chapter Two**

''How could you even think about agreeing to her request, Sam? How do you expect Jacob to take this? '' Emily cried, tears running down her cheeks as she looked around at the pack. ''She was a part of this pack, whether she knew it or not.''

''You know the position it left us in, Emily. Look at the condition of Jake and tell me that part of you isn't glad that she can't hurt him anymore than she already has'' Paul snarled, throwing his chair back and storming out.

Embry stared down at the floor, feeling all eyes on himself as he muttered quietly'' Bella had a choice and she chose what she wanted. I refuse to mourn the girl who destroyed my best friend. What right does she have for any of us to mourn her? The girl Jake loved died a long time ago, I won't mourn the monster she ended up being.''

Slight nods were given by the pack but not a word was spoken, either in agreement or disagreement. A silence fell across the room, only broken by Quil's sad reminder of what state Jacob lay. ''Does he feel it, you know, the last bonds of the imprint dying? I haven't felt his emotions, human or wolf since that day in the woods. It haunts my dreams and it's tainted all the memories I have of him.''

The room fell deadly silent, nothing could be heard but the wild beating of hearts as they thought back to their dear friend and what had befallen him. What had any of them done wrong for the Great Spirits to be testing them as such? What had Jacob ever done to deserve the pain and reject he'd lived with for years until it was too much?

Why had the Gods' given Jacob a gift, a true blessing and yet seemingly allowing it to fall into the hands of their enemy? Their enemy who had tainted and destroyed a person through their pretenses to be more humane than others of their kind when in truth they were not different.

What good is an Alpha that has given into the animal, who thinks like the animal that lives in him and lives like one? Not a single one of them had set eyes on Jacob since that horrendous day in the woods.

The legends had never been able to tell them what happened to the wolf if his imprint became a vampire. It had simply never happened before.

Nothing had prepared them for seeing their pack-brother lose his sanity or human self. Jacob had always held onto the hope, although they thought it useless, that Bella would return and she'd accept him. It had been the very thing that kept him going, feeling her humanity through the stretched bonds of the imprint despite the distance between them.

And one day it was gone. The few seconds it took for them all to realize something had happened was all it had taken.

**Flashback:**

_Jacob had seemed fine when they'd met up in the woods until his face changed, an array of emotions flashing through his eyes, too quickly for them to be processed by his pack-mates._

Agonizing screams were torn from Jacob's throat, echoing around the small clearing as he dropped to his knees and clutched his chest. He continued to scream, arching his back and crying out before they all heard the unmistakable sound of his bones breaking.

''Jake'' Sam had cried, falling to his knees beside his brother who was too far gone to even know what was happening around him. ''What's wrong?'' Quil had shouted, looking around and meeting the eyes of his pack-mates, searching for an answer nobody had.

Sam, recognising the change in Jacob's body, threw himself to the side just as Jacob's bones finishing breaking and he completed the change. A brief look at the snarling wolf that crouched low on its' front paws and the way its' lips were pulled up vertically displacing its teeth gave them a good understanding of what had happened.

The entire pack was frozen in shock and horror as Jacob turned and fled from the clearing. A heartbeat later, they'd all began trying to shout over one another in their desperation to understand what they had just witnessed.

''Oh my god'' Sam cried, falling to his knees and resting his head in his hands as he tried to calm his beating heart. ''Sam, what happened?'' Jared asked as Embry, in a cold and detached voice, snarled'' That bitch is what happened. She's finally done it, she's finally destroyed Jake. I hope she's fucking happy.''

And with that remark, Embry had stormed off in search of his best friend. The best friend that he knew he'd just lost because fate's a bitch.

**End of flashback**

''Do you believe in what you said about being reborn, Sam?'' Collin asked, his question bringing everyone back to the harsh reality of what had happened. Sam swallowed loudly as he nodded slowly and explained'' I do believe in what I told Bella. The Spirits are testing us and I don't think they'd allow Jake or Bella to end up this way.''

''How can you say that after all the pain she has caused?'' Embry snarled, curling his top lip up in disgust at the mention of her. ''I understand your anger, Embry, truly I do but how can you let your hatred overrule everything else? You all heard what she said, how she felt about the choices she had made. Does that sound like someone who is truly heartless or someone who is human and makes mistakes? She made plenty of mistakes but it's part of who we are. Even us, being wolves and all, make mistakes because fundamentally we are still first and foremost human. You cannot allow yourself to hate human nature, Embry. The people we met, the choices we are shown and the way our lives happen all define us as people. Have you ever thought to wonder why the Cullens were able to walk into her life so easy?''

The wolves were silent until Quil replied'' I'm not saying anything bad against Chief Swan or his ex-wife but maybe Bella wouldn't have been so fascinated with the Cullens if she'd had any kind of family growing up. I get it, you know, being an only child but I had Jake and Embry. Who did Bella have? From what I saw of her life, no-one but herself. I felt sorry for her back then and I still do.''

Quil took in a deep breath before continuing'' A father who is married to his job who she hardly knew and a hare-brained mother who is too child-like to be an adult. Do any of us even know how her childhood was, if she even had one? The way I see it, Bella was an easy mark because she genuinely believed that nobody would miss her, that nobody ever loved her enough to give a damn. I hate that Bella was so blind and naive but mainly, I hate those damn bloodsuckers. If they had just left her alone, she wouldn't be dead and Jake wouldn't have gone all wolf.''

With that said, Quil crossed his arms and waited. He waited for someone to agree and for someone to disagree.

Nobody agreed and nobody disagreed.

You know why? Partially down to the shock that Quil was well-versed, it turned out, and partially down to the fact that no-one could deny the truth in his words.


	3. 3: Spirit Guide Me?

**Author** **Note: I'm sorry for the delay, I've been really ill over the last few days and I just haven't had the energy to do anything.**

I k**now that the layout of my paragraphs is more then likely off but with the way I'm still feeling, I'm really not taking anything on board . I'm not a perfect writer but I'm doing the best I can. If there are any mistakes then I do apologize.**

**Chapter: Spirit Guide Me?**

With a large intake of air, Bella threw herself from the floor where she lay, panting heavily before looking around at her surroundings. It took a few minutes to realize that she wasn't dead but that fact did little to comfort her as she didn't have the slightest recall as to where she could be.

A brief look several times still didn't provide her with answers. There was nothing. No colour, no life. Just nothing. White surrounded her and seemed to stretch on forever more in every direction she looked.

She grimaced as she shifted from one side to another, slowly getting up from the floor. Pain radiated through her entire body but focused mostly on her chest. She cried out in agony as her arms flew to wrap around herself and she fought the urge to claw at her chest, at the pain that seemed to stem from her heart. 

_Death is suppose to be the end of all pain and suffering yet I still hurt. If you're dead then you shouldn't be feeling anything,right?_

**Who said anything about being dead, Isabella?**

_What the fu- I mean, what the hell? How am I not dead? The wolves were suppose to kill me and end my miserable existence which is why I'm here. I'm going to hell, right? No soul and all._

**Again, who said anything about not having a soul, my dear child?**

_I'm not dead?_

The voice seemed so close to her and yet so far away at the same time. She looked around manically, looking for a clue or something to tell her where the voice came from.

**The consequences of your death were beyond your control, Isabella and that is why I am giving you the chance to undo everything.**

_I don't understand, is this my second chance? My redemption?_

**For redemption, you have to have sinned and that you have not done. Our paths are predetermined and you return to this place after death should your life have entered another's path. This is your second chance**

_I don't deserve a second chance, look at the damage I've caused_

''Do you honestly believe that? Do you really believe that human nature can't be forgiven or changed?'' the voice came from behind her and she turned swiftly to see a tall Native American man walking towards her.

''How can you say that after everything I have put those I claim to love through?!'' she snapped, fighting the angry tears which threatened to leave her eyes while ignoring her surprise at being able to cry again.

''You can change how and who you are, Bella. In this second chance, you could work on repairing the relationship with your father or stop others from dictating your life to you. You can chose what you want and who you want,'' the man explained, smiling at Bella as he came to a stop in front of her.

He held out his hand as she wiped at the tears from her eyes before questioning, ''What if I make the same mistakes?''

To which he replied, ''Will you? With the knowledge you'll keep of the path you had chosen and the unhappiness, would you repeat? Can you live through losing everyone again?''

She shook my head before staring up at him. ''You won't remember these events once your life is back on track for the natural path. You will find your happiness and you'll find who you really are. You can change how things affect you, who you are and the choices in front of you.''

''Natural path meaning no vampires? Does that mean that there is still a chance that I could mess everything up again without truly thinking of the consequences? Look at the mess I made this time, how selfish and cruel I was to those who love me. Why are you giving me this chance? What if I don't change, what if I'm still the person the choices I've made leading up to this have made me?'' she asked, question after question flowing from her mouth as her fear and anxiety became clearer.

The man simply looked at the girl in front of him and began to chuckle before explaining'' Although it seems like you have a choice in how your life turns out, here's a harsh reality. You don't. You'll keep on returning here and restarting until one of two things happens. First thing is that you simply stick to the natural path and away from all bloodsuckers while the second thing is that we get fed up of dragging your sorry ass here time and time again. I'd advise you against the second thing simply because I like you and I'd hate for us to have to completely refresh your life for you. That really sucks.''

She nodded slowly and placed her hand in his as he continued to talk, ignoring her horror-filled gaze. ''You need to be prepared for what you'll step back into. It's July 18th, a mere two weeks until you are due to marry the bloodsucker. I'm sure everything will work out well in the end, we're not completely heartless after all. We wouldn't bring you back to this point if you couldn't change everything. No pressure or anything, just remember that you'll come back here again''

''Oh my god'' she whispered, staring at this man in horror as he raised an eyebrow at her and responded, rather harshly'' We aren't going to make this easy on you, Isabella. You screwed up everything and this is the price for making amends. I'm not here to baby you, Isabella because it hasn't gotten you anywhere in the last few years. Your natural choice stays the same, whether the supernatural enters your life or not so you better remember this all.''

''This is the part where I say goodbye,at least for now tsidá wił. We will not be meeting again for quite some time. Keep an eye on that great grandson of mine, you're the only who can keep him in line.'' the man said, slowly fading from her sight, her hand grasping at the air as she choked out, ''Ephraim?''

Ephraim chuckled, the sound vibrating around as he whispered, ''Fate works in mysterious ways, my dear. I have faith in you and Jacob, you're the only one he's ever seen. Trust your instincts, Isabella.''

**Next Chapter: Guide Me Into The Past  
- Time for someone to take a trip back to not-so-long ago past.**


End file.
